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Feeling Uncertain
by Linda Price and Phyllis Fouts
Q: I recently took my children out
of school and started homeschooling, and wonder if this
is what it feels like to leave a cult! My children are doing
fine, but I have found myself totally cut off from those
whom I thought were my friends. Their response has been
anything but positive. I'm reluctant to tell people, especially
colleagues and relatives, that we are homeschooling. I am
college-educated, but my confidence is so low when it comes
to homeschooling my own children! My husband and I are 100%
sold on homeschooling, but this adjustment period has been
difficult. Does it get better? Do you have any advice for
me?
A: While it would be comfortable for homeschoolers to encounter
only those people who support homeschooling’s educational
ideals, it is not realistic for us to always be in our comfort
zone. Starting home schooling is like any new job, friendships
from the "old" job fade, and you will need to
develop new ones, both for yourself and your children. That
takes time. Give yourself that time.
Even though homeschooling is really an “old”
idea in our country, (George Washington was homeschooled),
the prevailing public education philosophy of the last century
has transformed homeschooling today into a “new”
idea in our culture.
As homeschoolers, if we feel called by God to homeschool
our children and embrace this “new” idea, we
are educating in this world but definitely not according
to this world’s educational standards. When we do
what God calls us to do, we will be salt and light to the
world around us, and we will inevitably encounter differences
of opinion.
Because my children homeschooled K-12, they were never
pulled out of a public school to homeschool, but I did encounter
pro public school family members and acquaintances who made
me feel as though I was forsaking a “cult” because
my children never entered public school. With those individuals
who expressed their concern for the educational and social
well being of my children, I always tried to be positive
and informative. If they had questions, I tried to patiently
explain and defend my position. If this did not alleviate
their concern, I sought pleasantly to agree to disagree
with them and then prayed and asked God to help them see
and understand.
I have been encouraged as I homeschooled over the years
to see these individuals move to positions ranging from
being more quietly opposed to being somewhat supportive.
Recently, one of my daughters had an instructor at a local
community college who was outspoken in her negative predisposition
towards homeschooling. As my daughter sat in class and listened
to the teacher’s biased presentation, she surprised
the instructor by offering a positive, respectful defense
of homeschooling from a former homeschooler’s point
of view. By the end of the term, the teacher somewhat grudgingly
conceded that homeschooling might work for some people.
As homeschoolers, when we encounter individuals who are
opposed to homeschooling, we may be the first homeschooler
that person has ever met, or we may be meeting that individual
after he or she has formed some type of negative perception
towards homeschooling that may or may not have involved
an actual homeschooler. In either case, a positive and informative
response from us should help that person to respond to the
next homeschooler he or she meets with more fairness.
I also think that participating in a homeschool support
group would by very helpful. Find a support group that meets
both your need and those of your children. You may have
to go to two. It may take going to several different groups
until you find one that meets your family's needs.
I’m sure that as you speak to other homeschoolers,
you will find that you are not alone in facing opposition
during an adjustment period, and that with the help of the
Lord and fellow homeschoolers, you can press on in the homeschooling
of your children with confidence and joy. The first year
is the hardest. Period. But, it does get better. In fact,
it gets great! I don't even remember the trials of our first
year; now I see all the benefits and rewards.
If you have a homeschooling question and
would like to “Ask The Veterans”, please put
it in writing to Board@OmahaHEN.org
or to: HEN Newsletter, 2610 Morrie Dr., Bellevue, NE 68147.
We will forward your question along to our veteran moms
who will respond for publishing in a future newsletter.
The information provided on this site does
not necessarily represent the views or opinions of any of
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None of the information distributed by HEN, either verbal
or written, is intended as legal advice and should not take
the place of legal counsel from a qualified, informed attorney. |
